We're not even going to start with Tom Meighan's happy relationship with a plastic ET dolly:
“It’s a 4ft fuckin’ E.T. living in my house.
“When I’m not really with it I start talking to it and that’s the only time I really believe he’s alive. He’s got a massive cock."
If Tom's ET dolly and its big plastic penis brings him pleasure, there is neither law nor moral imperative to deny him such pleasures.
What does catch our eye, though, is this:
Now, is it just us or does that sound like a desperate bid by a man who looks unwashed slurry-spreaders might object to sharing a bus seat with him to try and reposition himself as a clean, shower-loving type? The trouble in, the phrase "make sure there's hot water in", like it's delivered by a bloke from the corner shop, conjures the image of a man who only has a passing acquaintance with abluting.