Nigel Kennedy - effectively Jamie Oliver with a fiddle - is doing his best to bring some of the made-up turmoil of the rock Brits to the sister classical Brit awards.
He's got the hump because he's been dropped from the running order after inviting Bond (yes, they're still going, too) to play with him:
When he suggested playing jazz instead, he said the idea was also rejected.
He eventually settled on a gypsy violin piece Czardas, by Vittorio Monti, but after two days of rehearsals with Bond, he was told they had not been approved as performers by the organisers.
Kennedy claims rival record companies on the Brits committee had made the decision because they were "threatened by me" which could "only be taken as a compliment".
"I was looking forward to this because it had become clear that this was going to be one of my best performances, not just musically but as a visual TV spectacle as well," he said.
Ah, yes, the visual television spectacle. A bloke with a thinning punky haircut and four women in low-cut evening gowns. Whatever has the world been denied?
We're intrigued by the idea that three minutes of Nigel Kennedy is, in some way, a threat to record labels - how, exactly, does that fear manifest itself? Are the classical labels worried that a spot of Nigel on his violin will render all other classical music obsolete? Or has a rumour started that Kennedy has the power to shoot lasers from his eyes?