Put them away, Boyz

Having a name like a gay porn magazine is one thing. Running a sales campaign like one? Quite another. Boyzone have removed all their clothes in a bid to try and interest punters in tickets for their comeback tour.

We're put in mind of those attempts to interest the public at large in opera and ballet by sending out fliers with photos of naked, lithe bodies on them; small print at the bottom warning "actual show contains no nudity." They might put the same wording on the Boyzone ads, although as an encouragement rather than a warning.

Contactmusic stresses it's not quite full-frontal male nudity:

The five bandmates are all completely naked for the ad, but they cover their manhoods with hats.

The website doesn't say if we're talking nightcaps or fascinators.

Mind you, Contact is incredibly trusting:

the years away from the top of the charts has done nothing to dent the quintet's sex symbol status - they all sport sixpacks and Adonis-like bodies in the new pictures.

We don't know if it's more touching that Contact thinks Ronan Keating was a sex symbol - he never quite made it to mathematic symbol - or that it believes advertising pictures are depictions of reality. We picture their staffers on the phone, bellowing "but why won't the tiger talk to us? They're happy enough to advertise breakfast cereals..."