Gordon in the morning: And pigs might fly

The trouble with Gordon Smart's Bizarre is that it's hard to believe anything that appears in it. Take today's big spalsh, which appears to claim that Dave Gilmour offered a Pink Floyd Glasto appearance to Michael Eavis, and that Eavis turned him down. Smart rails against this:

Wish you were there, Floyd
[...]
It truly beggars belief.
[...]
This year’s lineup has led to the fest not selling out, something unthinkable over the event’s recent history.

He’s dangerously out of touch with a public – youngsters and all – who would have delighted in some Floyd action.

But when you read the article again, it's apparent that Gilmour didn't offer Floyd - just his own, slightly less-thrilling, solo set. Which is less of a draw than Pink Floyd proper.

And while Gordon is happy to pad out the article by his raging and out-of-touch belief that "young people" would turn up for a Gilmour gig, he doesn't mention when the offer was made. Presumably fairly recently, otherwise Smart would have fumed earlier. Possibly too late for the headline act to be changed anyway, even if the offer was genuine.

Not to mention that, time and again, it's been clear that the failure of Glasto to sell out had nothing to do with the three names on the Pyramid stage, and everything to do with the miserable experience offered by an overcrowded site in a muddy field.

More festival running order squabbles as Gordon insists that, in the teaser, that

MIGHTY BOOSH star Noel Fielding forced to ban The Kills from performing at festival

Really? But both the Boosh and Kills sites still lists The Kills as appearing.

It turns out, though, that once again Gordon's story is slightly weaker than it might appear:

THE MIGHTY BOOSH star NOEL FIELDING has been forced to ban THE KILLS from performing at his festival’s finale – to placate his girlfriend.

The comic has developed an intense friendship with The Kills’ ALISON MOSSHART.

But Noel’s partner DEE PLUME was so furious at their inclusion in the July 5 bash at The Hop Farm in Kent that she threatened to pull her band ROBOTS IN DISGUISE from the gig.

Ah, so The Kills haven't been banned from performing, only the singalong at the end. God, fancy that, eh, not being allowed to hang around for everyone else to finish to go on and take part in a clunky, Live Aid style finale.

Although, having "revealed" that the Kills won't be allowed to take part in the finale, Gordon then seems to forget the point of his own story:

All the bands are due to sing together at the end. That will be interesting.

Only, surely, if Mosshart and Plume are on stage together. Which, erm, Gordon has just insisted they won't be.