Gordon in the morning: A heart-warming partnership

The revelation that there are a large number of unsold copies of Jordan and Pete Andre's album isn't such a surprise, is it? The single sold like hot flushes and that would clearly mean there's got to be a box somewhere. Sure, there's something Ozymanidas-like about the photo of them covered with bird poop awaiting their fate - although the CDs have clearly been mucked about with to make a nice photo as only one appears to be slathered in crap, the others aren't.

But the notable aspect of the story is the byline:

By CARL STROUD
and GORDON SMART

Two people, including the head of the column, to write up such a slight piece? What, exactly, was Gordon's input to the tale?

Still, we know, at least, what Gordo's role was in the story about meeting Will Smith. Although the picture seems to be little more than one of those awkward moments when a star trying to get into a premiere has to pretend to like everyone of the journalists en route, Gordon splashes a large photo of himself with Smith - for all the world like one of those cringe-creating "me and someone famous" shots you get on magazine letter pages. Smart also gives the picture a caption:

The big boys ... big Will and Biz man Gordon

And - oh, yes - a somewhat immodest headline:

Gordon Smart meets Big Willy

We'll all remember where we were when we heard that news. The question, of course, is why someone who claims to be at the very beating heart of showbiz would be so surprised to shake hands with someone we might have heard of. It's a bit like the Queen using her Christmas speech this year to go "fucking hell, I got to hang out with the President of the United States..."

Still, like a good company man, Gordo even manages to work a reference to his paymaster's products into the article:

I had Tom Anderson from MySpace in the office the other day, who is officially the world’s most popular man with over 210million friends.

But Mr Smith could give him a run for his money judging by the turnout at the huge opening for this cracking film.

Still, Will and Gordo. Great mates, you know. They had a time:

Will had a joke at my expense when I asked if he’d played footie with DAVID BECKHAM yet.

He said: "Football? I think you’ll find you mean soccer."

Ha-ha-ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha haa HAAAAAAA! Crazy times, eh?

Gordon's summation of his time with Will Smith? For an article under the heading 'Gordon meets Big Willy' and a piece which starts with a reference to cruising, it's fascinating:

If he wasn’t such a nice bloke I would have shown Big Willy my two-footed tackle.

Everyone loves Will Smith, don't you think?