Gordon in the morning: The last temptation of Pete

It's a sign that it might be time for Pete Doherty to think about retiring from the public view when even Gordon Smart can take the piss out of him. Doherty's new project - being turned into a sculpture depicting him as Christ - is an open goal:

The “disturbing artwork” will be carved in marble and show Doherty being tortured, surrounded by strips of newspapers — symbolising his crucifixion by the media.

Because of course the supermodel-shagging, paparazzi-baiting friend of AMY WINEHOUSE hates having his ugly mug in the paper.

He apparently believes everyone’s out to get him.

Which, of course, everyone is, but then Pete - this sort of thing makes it quite easy for those who want to knock you.

No word yet on if Carl Barat is going to be done as John The Baptist.

Talking of everyone being out to get Pete, Bizarre also hosts a story by Lynsey Haywood which claims that Blake Fielder-Civil offered someone twenty grand to have Doherty "smashed to pieces". Unlike most of the stories the Sun runs from inside prison, this one actually has a name attached to it:

He approached ex-bouncer Richard Lyttle, on remand for murder but since released without charge.

Wouldn't you have already been charged if you were on remand? We know the important thing is that Haywood was released without coming to trial, but it's still a little sloppy.

Lyttle suggests that he Fielder-Civil offered the money to him after "seeing a picture of a dazed Amy in The Sun". It's almost as if the paper is proud of its role in an attempt to solicit a violent assault. Wonder if they'd have been so keen to plump up their own role if Doherty had been seriously disabled?