Thursday, July 17, 2008

Courtney Love has something to share

That noise? That's the internet spasming as Courtney Love checks into MySpace again:

regarding billy and the glow of my dearest friend Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin

I would like to start off with the whole Billy thing that was posted on Perez by apologizing to Billy Corgan, I had a shared computer that has been comprised, my AOL account and my daughter's account, i had to get rid of all my computers in the house, and the AOL accounts.

someone broke into my AOL account, and sent that letter to Perez although some of the writing was writing that I had wrote but never posted, However as the KR weasels people know that there is a :live site: that has a own ring tone that lets people know when I am online and when I am writing a email before i hit the send button. EVEN IF I DON"T SEND IT these people can steal it and then it twist my words around, I never write in all CAPS, you can read most my blogs on myspace, yes I have typos but it's because I type very fast, it does not make me a "TARD" Anyways,I did not send, half of it and I am apologize to Billy Corgan and to my daughter, this is a personal matter between Billy and my family. My Daughter's privacy is very important so I wanted to clear that up so I can tell you about this lovely adventure about my two good friends. Billy please give me a call, We love you and I am sorry, Marie can give you the number. Okay, here's a good story I want to share with all you guys: It's amazing Gwyneth Paltrow and her amazing husband Chris and I have reconnected. She has always been a very close friend of mine, regardless of what people's perception of Gwyneth, compassion is her middle name and I am not going to sit here and write a public love letter to GP but I do have a great story to share with you that leads to a great song! So people might think oh blah, GP and her husband, who cares right? But the fact is one night in New York at the Pig, we were all hanging out and having a ball. Chris told the most hilarious joke that had literally had me on the floor laughing so hard. Over the years Gwyneth has always invited me out to London and I have always procrastinated, I kept telling myself, Go out to London Courtney, Gwyneth is such a dear freind of mine, and you should not take friends for granted.I was like what if i come out to hang out with her and Chris Martin who is a genius and me being such the opposite of who they are, My "What if" worries started to kick in.

God forbid, I start talking about the financial stuff, I start going cuckoo bananas, not that any of it isn't the truth and then some.. Hell I might blow the sucks off truth but lets not go there!

You know I would like to patent the phrase" cuckoo bannanoos, thats hot stylee" as the Hamlet 2 film clip I saw contained the phrase Cukoo bananas, what if cuckoo cherry comes out and plays with Cukoo bananas WOW, anything can set her off, my alter ego cherry you guys should all know cherry by now! Imagine if someone brought up a plumbing bill...you would have to shut me up and perhaps drive my ass to the looney bin,I have heard these days Electro Shock Therepy the new black? Humm, I have had two friends that have had shock therepy in the last two months Ellen Burstyn Requeim style ...they say it helps but they are fucking nuts!!anyways, my anxiety is kicking in and I am terrifed i am not good enough for GP for their beautiful lovely home, and lovely lifestyle and lovely family, This woman could be in a terrycloth tracksuit, and she would look like a goddess!I cannot compete with the clothes that GP has even though I have the best damn wardrobe in Hollywood. From Fortuny in the box with the white winter belt and the spring belt to Porite' 1901-1910 to a Persimmon vionette to the punk rock dress which British Vogue called the best dress of the decade and there is there is only one AND IT'S MINE BITCHES!" evil cackle" , I also am in love with my fuck me oh so sexy hysteric jeans, once you put on a pair of Hysteric jeans, you will never take them off untill mine comes out.

It goes on and on and on and on in a similar vein. We think the key phrase, though, is that she had to "get rid of all the computers" because her AOL account was "compromised" - she does realise that it wasn't little men in the computers doing the compromising, doesn't she? And that her AOL account wasn't actually in the computers? Doesn't she?

Never mind being cuckoo bananas. If you think Chris Martin is a genius, you should be kept away from keyboards forever.


1 comment:

duckie said...

"Imagine if someone brought up a plumbing bill..."

I know people get turned on by some strange things but this must be the first recorded instance of a sexualised works invoice. Or maybe it's Courtney-code for taking it up the tradesman's.

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