Gordon in the morning: Does he read his own column?

There's been a lot of advice offered to Amy Winehouse over the past few months - none of which seems to have had much effect.

But Gordon has come up with an idea that he thinks is going to succeed where all else has failed: showing her a photo of Britney Spears:

HERE’S a picture I want AMY WINEHOUSE to take a long hard look at – BRITNEY SPEARS looking truly stunning.

It was less than six months ago that the American singer was put in hospital for her own good.

Just like Amy today, Britney was a drug-crazed wreck, dogged by controversy. But look at her now.

Yes, Amy: if you get your act back together, Gordon will move you back into his list of 'women who make me a bit squibbly'. What better reason could there be to kick the crack?

Almost aware that comparing a woman with a serious drug problem with a woman who has bipolar disorder could be considered facile, Gordon casts around for other similarities between Amy and Britney. Hey - they've both got Dads, don't they:

As well as Amy taking note, her dad MITCH might also want to read on — as a lot of credit for Britney’s dramatic recovery goes to her father JAMIE.

The chef — a former alcoholic — took charge of his daughter’s life and cut out her binges.

Mitch might want to tighten Amy’s reins after she stole a bunch of flowers from a Camden petrol station in the early hours of Sunday.

And... hang on, they're both heterosexual, aren't they?

Britney’s dad has also kept her troublesome pals at arm’s length.

Her “manager” SAM LUTFI has been served with a restraining order and Britney is only allowed supervised visits with on-off boyfriend, British photographer ADNAN GHALIB.

He is not allowed to stay the night with her.

Amy is claiming hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL will be released from jail later today, under the terms of the sentencing at his trial for assault and perverting the course of justice.

If Mitch wants to get Amy back on track, instigating heavily marshalled visits with her no-good fella would be a good place to start.

Gordon doesn't seem to have noticed that - while Britney mucked about a bit with Adnan, Amy is actually married to Blake. Which is a bit different.

It's also interesting that his suggestions - tightening reins, marshaling visits - seem to be about controlling Winehouse rather than trying to make her better. If only she was like a ventriloquist's dummy, and could be kept in a suitcase between stage shows...