Gordon in the morning: Hold the front

Gordon Smart clears space on his pages to bring the observation that the women Ronaldo dates have breasts.

It's a pity, as buried elsewhere he's got a rather good story: the Kaiser Chiefs offered a Cornwall pub a free gig.

The pub politely, but firmly, said they'd rather not have their guests disturbed.

You just have to hope they hadn't hidden Mark Ronson under the pool table, expecting him to come on and do a couple of songs as a surprise guest.