Gordon in the morning: Religion and the Ritchies

Gordon is surprised to discover that the "illness" which caused Amy to pull out of that French festival was because she was in a state of Buddhist enlightenment. Luckily, there's a "source" to explain:

“Amy has also been watching the interview clip of TINA TURNER chanting on YouTube and she reckons it’s already affecting her in a positive way."

Who knew that watching a video of someone chanting on YouTube could wipe out the effects of the two overdoses Gordon's pages were reporting yesterday. She was a drug-ruined, borderline schizophrenic, so thin that doctors were afraid she could drop down dead. Now, watching a couple of videos, and in Gordon's words:

Amy's feeling much Buddha

There seems to be some concern that Winehouse's alleged discovery of Buddhism might confuse Gordon's readers, in a "is that the one with Ramadan" type of manner. Luckily, Gordon is on hand to put the beliefs into context:

Other fans of Buddhism include PETE DOHERTY, KATE MOSS, COURTNEY LOVE, PARIS HILTON and BRITNEY SPEARS.

It's not known if this "fan of Buddhism" status extends to a deep commitment, like adding "I am a fan of Buddha" to their Facebook profiles. An earlier draft, where Gordon actually listed the hundreds of millions of other fans of Buddhism, had to be edited down for space.

Still, at least Gordon doesn't manage to be too offensive as he edges into the religious... oh, hang on:

Here we’ve mocked up Wino as a Buddha figure to celebrate her spiritual awakening.

It's not like Gordon doesn't understand investing your life following a charismatic figure. He's all over Guy Ritchie again this morning:

Guy reckons his wife wouldn’t tell him even if she hated the film, but he’s got nothing to worry about. I saw it first last month and it is a corker.

This is the second time that he's taken space to praise Rock N Rolla at some length. Here, we've mocked up Gordo as a Ritchie-worshiping figure to celebrate his good work promoting the movie.