Gordon in the morning: Standards and non-slipping dresses

With Dita Von Teese doing Playboy and Duffy's dress, Gordon doesn't know where to look this morning.

It's Duffy's dress which gets him panting most heavily, though:

Duffy nearly in the buffy

which would be a brilliant headline on a story about her getting drunk with Sarah Michelle Gellar and the pair hitting on each other, but rubbish on this one. As Gordon himself admits, this wasn't even a slipping dress - what looked like a bra peeking out was part of the outfit:

When I saw these pictures I thought she was suffering a wardrobe malfunction and her frock had slipped down.

But apparently it’s meant to look like that.

But he ran the photo anyway.

Had the dress actually been sliding down Duffy's body, the tiny bit of what-would-then-have-been-a-bra was so slight it's hard to see even then what would have been noteworthy, unless you're the sort of bloke who freeze-frames Corrie every time Becky chooses a top with straps narrower than her nethergarments.

Now, cast your minds back to when the storm was breaking over Russell Brand's Radio 2 programme and how disgusted Wade and The Sun leader team were:

THE BBC hoped a swift apology with flowers would douse public fury over Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand.

But protests from 10,000 disgusted licence payers show they have misjudged the public mood.

Georgina Baillie, whose fling with Brand was betrayed in his obscene calls to her grandfather, Andrew Sachs, wants him sacked.

We now know this juvenile pair of overpaid twerps aimed even more unforgivable smut at the legendary Fawlty Towers star.

The Sun, then, is clear: tawdry public detailing the sexual conquests of Russell Brand is the sort of thing that is morally wrong, especially when the only reason the woman involved is famous is because of her grandfather.

Oddly, though, it's quite acceptable for Gordon Smart to run a long piece about Russell Brand having sex with Che Guevara's granddaughter, complete with computer-generated images and laddish back-slapping about bedposts and successful charm offensives.

If I was FIDEL CASTRO I’d get the grandkids kitted out with chastity belts pronto.

Thank god Castro never appeared in a sitcom, otherwise that would presumably require The Sun to run an editorial calling for its own management to sort itself out. Clearly, though, it's not juvenile smut to taunt a grandfather about his kids being shagged by Brand if he's left-wing.