I'm not sure the News Of The World can quite claim an exclusive that Peaches Geldof is divorcing - isn't that like claiming an exclusive on 'water runs downhill' or something?
So, then, who got 96 days in the sweepstake?
The Screws turns at this difficult time to "a pal" to provide some comfort and support:
A pal of Peaches, 19, told us: "She realised it was all a mistake - and her dad Sir Bob is delighted."
That's exactly what a friend would say - "her dad Sir Bob" - for don't we all not only explain who relatives might be, but also give them (erroneously) their title? Still, we're betting her Dad, Sir Bob, must be thrilled at the costs and horrors of a very public ill-conceived marriage and a tatty old divorce. Thrilled beyond belief.