We are the world: 2008 World Music Awards

Back when all it did was fill a slot between two ITN Night Network news bulletins, the World Music Awards were just a little silly. Now, though, with barely a week passing between launches of yet-more-tenuous music prizes, they're starting to look like the elder statesmen of the awards worlds. Obviously not a Bevan or a Kennedy, but a Ramsay MacDonald, perhaps.

In theory.

They're still just as weak and pointless in practice, though. With all the world to choose from, the winners were:

Best rock band: Coldplay
Best selling act: Coldplay
Best female pop: Leona Lewis
Best male pop: Kid Rock
Best female pop/rock: Amy Winehouse
Best male pop/rock: Kid Rock
Best R&B: Alicia Keys
Best hip-hop: Lil Wayne

This lot almost reads like a form being completed by someone who merely wants to enter a prize draw and writing down the first names they've thought of. What has Winehouse done this year to make her the best female in any field? In the last twelve months? Exactly?

And Kid Rock? You know, it's possible to enjoy a puppet show without having to tell the glove puppet it's the Larry Olivier of its generation.

The haunting air of 'can you name a band' hangs over the diamond award, which is given each year to, oh, anyone who'll turn up. This year it went to Ringo Starr, for being in The Beatles. Ringo! Even the MTV European Awards managed to persuade McCartney to turn up. What was plan B if Ringo wouldn't show? Pete Best or Bill Wyman?