Gordon in the morning: Blurback

Who's taking the credit for today's expected announcement about Blur playing next year's Glastonbury?

It's Gordon Smart, of course:

Last month I said that if DAMON ALBARN, GRAHAM COXON, ALEX JAMES and DAVE ROWNTREE could get back together they were the men to save next year’s Glastonbury.

And it seems they’ve taken me at my word.

It's not clear what he thinks they'll be saving Glastonbury from - not the risk of having Noel Gallagher moaning on about the headliners, certainly.

Blur will headline MICHAEL EAVIS’s festival in June before staging their own show in London’s Hyde Park in July.

Great news, I think you’ll agree.

Really? Why? This says 'less time for Graham Coxon to do interesting solo stuff' which isn't especially great. And it's only been a handful of years since they broke up in the first place. And it's not like it's Elastica. And Glastonbury and Hyde Park, where you're going to have to rely on opera glasses and the big TV to even tell if they're on the stage together? If Blur really needed to reunite, couldn't they have come up with something a little less obvious?

Could it get any worse?

What’s more Damon’s pal, actor PHIL DANIELS, will be reprising his role as narrator on the band’s 1994 hit Parklife at the huge gigs.

Oh. Indeed it can.

Meanwhile, Gordon's all excited about the prospect of a naked Hermione Granger:

Emma: I will strip for a film

HARRY Potter beauty EMMA WATSON is willing to bare all in a movie.

Is she, though? Actually, didn't we all read this in The Sunday Times in the first place? When she said she might do a nude scene, but only for Bernardo Bertolucci? And was incredibly cagey about the idea? And was, perhaps, less interesting than her determination to go to university even if it means putting her career on hold?