Gordon in the morning: Leave it Gary, he's not worth it

The continuing stream of Robbie-and-That stories coming from Wapping suggests that we're being softened up for some sort of unpleasant announcement in the New Year. Today, Gary Barlow makes encouraging noises:

He said: “Robbie will not be coming on tour with us next year because he’s got his own things to do.

“But we are not ruling out getting together with him beyond that.”

It's clear that in these difficult times, we must look to Gordon Smart for leadership. Faced with a Sun readership who are split between hating the very idea of Williams arriving late and spoiling the party with his trademark gurning, and people who have the sense of a petrol-doused reveller going to fireworks display, Smart tries to fudge his opinion piece:

ROBBIE’S return to Take That has split the nation.
[...]
For all the problems I have had with Robbie, I would love to see him do one big gig with the band again, for old times’ sake.

A one-off, televised concert is the answer. It would draw a line under the past and give everyone a nostalgia packed high.

Can something simultaneously draw a line under the past and make everyone remember the past?

And this isn't even a compromise: doing one gig? Even Smart admits it would be unlikely to be just the one:

Reading in to the mutual love-in between all the members going on now, one gig would probably open the floodgates to many more.

Of course it bloody will. Still, given that the Take That reunion has now run out of steam (you're in trouble when your Marks and Spencers adverts are more lively than your new records) it's not like Williams' return will actually spoil anything.

Elsewhere, Gordon runs a photo of Alesha Dixon getting out a cab. And what time would that be, Gordon?

Alesha parties 'til phwoar a.m

Yes. Phwoar am. Very good.

This is surprising, though:

She will have to be careful with the late nights and champers – I’ll be joining her for a trek up Kilimanjaro in February for Comic Relief

Hang about... you're going to be on the side of a mountain with a woman in two months, and you think it's a good idea to run upskirt/downshirts of her? I'd keep a careful eye on who you're relying on hold your ropes, Gordon.