Having heard the lead single from the new Lily Allen record, you have to applaud her for taking the exciting step of releasing the weakest track from the album to lead off with. I mean, that has got to be the weakest track, right?
Lily has an album to promote, and so she's doing it the only way she knows how - with a lot of press comments that sound at first like they're charming and self-deprecatory, but actually turn out to be self-aggrandising. Take, for example, her verdict on Lily Allen and Friends, the TV show that divided a nation - into those who'd never seen it, and those who would never watch it again:
When asked how she'd rate it, she said: "Probably five out of 10.
"It was a period when I decided not to be a singer or go on tour."
Fair enough, she's given herself probably about five more out of ten than she'd deserve, but is this an admission that it was wrong to do? No, because you know what? She got LOADSAMONEY:
"I made a lot of money out of it. Thank you, licence-payers - that was very nice of you. You think Russell Brand is your problem. Actually it's me."
No, actually, nobody thinks Russell Brand is their problem - whatever else, at least he was usually entertaining for the money. "It was rubbish, but hey I got paid" isn't quite as winning as Allen seems to think.
And what of her isn't-that-somewhat-like-what-Travis-would-do cover of Womanizer? Ooh, she's in twubble:
"Now, some of you may be wondering why I covered 'Womanizer' - simple really, I love Britney and I love the song."
... and, people might think there was something unusual about a pop singer doing a pop song and find it edgy.
Seriously, who would have been wondering why someone would do a cover of a great pop song? It's like Huw Edwards blogging his reasons for wearing a tie during the Ten O'Clock News.
But it turns out we should never have heard the song:
"It wasn't my intention for it to have whizzed round the world like it has," added Allen. "Mark Ronson asked me for something no one had heard to play on his radio show, and 'Womanizer' was the only song I had as an attachment on my Blackberry, and I couldn't get home to send him anything else in time."
"I had asked him to talk all over it so it wouldn't get ripped, but he didn't," explained the singer. "Thanks Mark - for getting me in serious trouble with my record company."
Oooh, everyone copied the song because it was so GRATE and UNEXPECTED and they put it on the torrents and I haz a Blackberry and know Mark Ronson and he begged me for a tune but it was almost TOO POWERFUL and I bet EMI put me in detention now for sure. And it was all just a fabulous coincidence.