Most slightly annoying comedy characters have their own trademark vehicle - Mr Toad's horn-covered sports car; Mr Bean's little car; DelBoy's three-wheeler. Sadly, though, 50 Cent is not to join them, as General Motors have decided the bruised economy just won't support a specially tricked out "sports truck" in Fiddy's honour:
"We always knew that it was going to be very low-volume," Pontiac's Jim Hopson said of the vehicle that experts predicted would likely not sell more than 5,000 units a year. "This would have been an extreme specialty vehicle. From a long-term standpoint, especially with where the brand is moving, it just didn't make sense."
You have to wonder: exactly how good would the economy be to justify some sort of ungainly Cent-endorsed gas-pisser? At the very least, surely, the US economy would have had to have discovered some way to make money from being just south of Canada and vaults filled with episodes of Moider She Wrote, but even then anyone who might have an interest in purchasing a Fiddymobile would not be able to look after their own financial affairs, would they?
And it had all started out so swimmingly:
"Partnering with Pontiac has given me the opportunity to create something truly unique — a customized performance vehicle I am really proud of," 50 said at the time the deal was announced. "The G8 is like none other, and it pushes the boundaries of what people think a car has to be."
He was right - especially that boundary of 'not being practical in any way, shape or form' and the other boundary of 'not being connected with a half-witted buffoon'.
We're given to understand that 50 Cent will be getting over his disappointment and introducing a range of stickers you can put in the window when you borrow your Mum's car, and bus pass holders with Cent's face on them.