Darkness at 3AM: Coldhearted cold comfort for Coldplay

The 3Am Girls are also signed up to the party line that Coldplay being not good enough is some sort of snub:

Coldplay snubbed at Brits as they lose in four categories

Doesn't that make them losers rather than snubbed?

The 3AMies can't understand it:

Only earlier this month Chris Martin and his band celebrated Grammy success, but yesterday at a star-studded London’s Earls Court they were snubbed on their own soil.

Their own star-studded London's Earl Court soil, no less.

In front of celebs including Duffy, Alexandra Burke, Katy Perry, Kings of Leon, Kylie and Take That, the boys looked on in disbelief as each of the main categories passed them by.

Oh, hang on. The Brits organisers hauled them up in front of celebs (and the woman who won Sing a Song For Simon) so everyone could watch their little faces crumple in distress? That would be quite a snub. Had it happened like that.

They lost out in British album, British group, British single – voted for by the public – and British live act.

Pssst... the live act one? That was also voted for by the public. Or "us", as we like to call ourselves.

And it was made all the weirder by the fact they rocked their post-awards show at Shepherd’s Bush afterwards.

Yes, fancy the voting academy not taking into account a private event they hadn't even played at the time of the prizes being given out. That's just so weird.

So, then, this year's Brits were nothing more than a farrago, designed to humiliate Chris Martin even more than his dancing does, right?

Oh... except when it was giving awards to Duffy. Then, the prizes were well-chosen, feting our new singing queen:

But it was a different story for Duffy, who was crowned queen of the night with a staggering three gongs.

The Welsh babe scooped British album and British female after quashing rivals Estelle and Adele.

Then she rubbed it in with Best Breakthrough. Lord have Mercy! One boozy record exec told us: “This is Duffy’s year. Not only was she the toast of the Grammys, she won over the tough Brits committee. That’s something not even Lily Allen could do who left empty-handed last year.”

God, how drunk was that executive? That last sentence really does sound like it was written after a George Best style celebration.

Don't you love the idea that the Brits committee is somehow "tough", as if they meet round the back of a run-down Peckham tower block and you can't vote until you've proved yourself by pinching something from Wilkinsons.

And what of Kylie? Apparently she was shocked:

Kylie shocked by James Corden and Mat Horne's Brit performance

Of course, she wasn't shocked at all. But she hasn't made a single called I Knew This Was Going To Happen, We Have Rehearsed After All, And You Should Have Seen The Negotiations With My Management.