Hold the front page. Or at least the top of the page... Gordon's updated his byline picture:
Gone is the awkward suit - described by Gordon, of course, as "gay" - and the strange holding of the hand as if shielding the ring finger stance.
In comes... what is that, exactly? Harry Cross on a public order charge? "The sociology teacher was relieved to have got through the Ofsted inspection without year 11 asking questions about same-sex marriage or race?"
You've got to love that strange, ethereal glow around him - is that the protection of a loving god? A recent bowl of Reddy Brek?
Otherwise, it's business as usual: NME Awards coverage with this:
Blur are no longer NMEs
NME/enemy? I first saw that used in a Smash Hits letters page in 1979, and I suspect it was whiskery then. It doesn't even make any sense, does it? As - last night, at least - the Blur reunion was NME's. "NME's - not enemies" you might have got away with.
But, tell me, Gordon - where was the ceremony?
London’s Brixton Academy.
London's Brixton Academy. Not, you'll note, the Brixton Academy in York or Brixton, Alabama.
The Enemy had a great time:
THE ENEMY’s TOM CLARKE told me: “It’s nice not being nominated ’coz there’s no pressure. We’re just gonna have a laugh and get pissed.”
How brilliant it is not having to be worried the whole time that we might find the public love us and value our records. Ooh, the sweet joy of having the pressure of being popular lifted from our weary shoulders. You know what? We might make another underwhelming record next year, so that we don't have to worry about anything other than getting drunk at the 2010 awards.