Kelly Clarkson has ruled out being a lesbian, even although, you know, she's constantly being propositioned by gay women:
Clarkson, the first and one of the most successful winners of TV talent show "American Idol", told AOL's pop culture news site, PopEater.com, that she was accustomed to being asked if she was secretly gay.
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time. I'm like, 'I'm glad it works for you and I wish I liked women like that because often times men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.'
"I could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date (someone like) myself, ever. I'm a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man," Clarkson, 26, said.
Yes, yes, she did just say "men are very hard for me" - could we all please settle down in the back row, please? Let's not pick apart Clarkson's "oh, how I wish I could be gay" statement - it would take a week and a half to even try to explore the suggestion that all women are like her, and that there are, apparently, no stable, quiet lesbians. Let's just be pleased that Kelly is able to bask in the glow of being an unobtainable figure of desire for the every gay woman.