Mini Liveblog: Morrissey on The One Show

Morrissey has turned up on The One Show. Good lord, he's pimping this album, isn't he? He's trying to look serious as they mop up a "unemployed? why not try the Job centre" piece.

The One Show team are stressing there's no shame in going to the Job Centre. "Dignified, for want of a better word." The consensus seems to be that blue collar people needed to be treated badly.

Mozzer reminisces about being unemployed - "I was happy, I didn't want to have a job. These days, it gets you into trouble."

Adrian Chiles suggests we should sympathise with white collar workers coming to grips with the loss of success. "Therefore, why sympathise with them?"

Moz's idea for the newly unemployed? "Why not just paint"?

7.10
They're now playing a montage of famous people (and Jeremy Vine) explaining why they loved The Smiths. One of the shouty Masterchef blokes is thrilled that he doesn't "even iron his shirt" and Frank Skinner trots out the "some of his lyrics are very funny." Yes, they are, aren't they?

David Cameron pops up - "I'm sure when Morrissey finds out he's getting an endorsement from the leader of the Conservative party, he'll think 'heaven knows, I'm miserable now'". Do you see what he did?

Morrissey pretends to not have realised the fans had been talking about him. "Is it me?"

"I get the sense that people [my fans] are there for life."

"I don't know about enjoying it, I just carry on..."

There's a clip of the video - "I don't do what I'm told, but I let someone hammer the storyboard together."

On songwriting: "I've been on the line for years. Does it get easier or harder? It remains the same."

How do you describe yourself? "I don't... let's go back to unemployment."

"We're going on to architectural history" says Adrian.
"That's why I'm here" joshes the Mozz.

7.15
They've just watched a film about the olden days in Birmingham, and now they're showing Morrissey's old house.

"We occupied four houses - we were the clan who ruled the place."
Chiles: Were they knocked through like the Beatles in Help?
Morrissey wafts him away, before going on to name the Blows, the rough family at the end of the street. Adrian invites them to get in touch if they want to counter Morrissey's memories of them.

"It was a very hard place, it shaped me" - and Morrissey had to be up at four in the morning to go down the pit.

7.20
The bloke with the beard off What The Ancients Did For Us is showing us how amazing our bodies are, what with drummers being able to do different things at the same time. Bloody hell, is he claiming that drummers are some sort of master race?

7.25
Morrissey pointedly not joining in the 'put your right leg over your left leg and draw a circle with your toe' fun.

"I could do both. If there was time."

Bloke with beard offers advice for blocked noses. Morrissey looks alarmed.

Now he's starting to look pained.

Plug for the new album - "where did you get that little kid from?" asks Adrian. "He belongs to a friend of mine..."