Woot-ton: No names, no pack drill

Dan Wootton - Gordon Smart portrayed by Harry Enfield - knows that when stars get big, you don't need their surname anymore. In fact, he's gone one better and dispensed with first names, too on the front page of his blog:

Hell-alujah February 22
BRITAIN’S brightest star is living in fear after her ex-boyfriend burst into her flat in the early hours of the morning.

The petrified Hallelujah babe was forced to call the police as crazed Russell Brooks banged on her door and screamed at her.

Brooks somehow managed to storm past security and into the £500,000 building in north London.

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I wonder if Alexandra Burke gave her name to police, or just said "this is the Hallelujah babe at number 233, Cowell House..."?

Oh, and Wootton's also running the Rihanna battering pictures. Classy.