Fred Durst tries to think of something to make a Limp Bizkit reunion interesting

Given that the world had only chuckled and turned away when the Limp Bizkit reunion was announced, no wonder Fred Durst has been making his brain-chunk whirr away to try and come up with something to make people notice.

He's fallen back on that time he said he was dating Britney Spears, only for her to scratch her head and say she didn't even really know who he was:

The confusion over the affair still remains with Durst, and the rocker points to the episode as one of the first in a long line ensuing erratic erratic episodes for Spears. "I look back on it as very interesting [in terms of] how things have been sort of unraveling for her since," he said. "[But] it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. [Still], I'm a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now."

Except, of course, it would only be erratic if she had, indeed, somehow managed to displace memories of a passionate affair with Durst. Otherwise, going "who is he again? The one with the mask or the one trying to cover his hairline with the baseball cap?" would be perfectly consistent.

And Durst's apparent willingness to bang on to anyone who'll listen about how he used to go out with that Britney Spears, you know, but only in the vaguest of terms doesn't exactly support his side of the story. Given that Spears can't chat to a newspaper vendor without People rushing out a "Wedding Bells for Britney?" special, that this 'relationship' managed to occur with nobody but Durst apparently noticing remains one of the true wonders of our age.

But you've got to love his courtly "I suppose that, after our relationship ended, that's where it started to all go wrong for her", with that hanging implication that the end of a fling with Durst will leave you so bereft your life will fly off its very axis.

But, Fred: as cough someone who got so close to Britney, you must have some special insight into Britney's life and career:

"Her own decisions and different things in her life, people can judge her all they want, but she has an extreme presence and when she's giving it, it's really good," he continued. "I don't think you can really write her off and I just think it'd be silly for people to think that they could. Everything kind of works in cycles and I think she's an example of how those things work."

What a gent, eh? He manages to not just be discreet, not only talk about Britney as if he'd never met her, but actually delivers such a vapid, meaningless quote it's like a schoolboy writing an answer in an exam he's done no revision at all for.

But Durst and Spears - well, we might laugh, but that's because the world just doesn't understand. We're just bigots, right?

"I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her."

Yes, the world won't allow someone to retain their artistic credibility if they're thought to be hanging out with someone whose music is clumsy lyrically and aimed at undiscriminating preteens. No wonder Britney pretended not to know him.