Gordon in the morning: Embracing Pete Doherty

Given that the Sun suggested he was an irredeemable, drug-addled reprobate, and that the paper hunted him for sport not so long back, the appearance of a large, fawning interview with Doherty in today's Bizarre column is either a heartwarming piece of rapprochement, or a puzzling embrace of monster and tormentor.

Naturally, Gordon's not going to fawn over Doherty without stressing how all that stuff you might have thought about him (because you read it in Gordon's pages) is wrong:

KATE MOSS’s controversial ex has said he is happy being single — and has pledged to keep his distance from women.

He said: “I’ve come into my own head a little bit really, being a bit more honest and open, rather than hiding in a crack pipe or wherever and just not turning up most of the time.”

Not that Smart is totally leaving himself open to having drug-flavoured egg on his cardigan should this turn out to be like the other times Pete "quit" drucks:

Pete insists he is now off the drugs — but I will need a bit more convincing.

Interestingly, though, Gordon offers no explanation as to why he doesn't believe the man he's interviewing, which you might have thought would have been at least polite.

Still, he does give Doherty a chance to talk about himself:

He combines popular culture with big philosophical ideas

Yes, Gordon. That's what he does.

such as this comparison of himself with Del Boy from Only Fools And Horses.

Pete concluded: “It’s like Trotters Independent Traders.

“For years they got by on three wheels and a lot of the fun was in the dream and scheme and the scrapes and near misses.

“But really and truly all Del ever wanted was actually to achieve something secretly, you know?”

Not quite sure where 'describing the plot of Only Fools And Horses badly' contains a big philosophical idea - or indeed anything that John Sullivan hadn't put in there in the first place. And Del didn't make any secret of wanting to achieve something did he? Isn't that the point of the schemes and the dream?

Gordon decides to have a go at combining popular culture and "big philosophical ideas" for himself:

This time next year, Pete...but not if the three wheels fall off again.

Well, at least he had a try.