Hey, journalists? Got a column to fill, and a deadline to meet? Why not think of the most buzzed-over female celebrity of the moment and write a column claiming she's going to be the next Bond girl?
Here's an example of that in action: Freida Pinto, out of Slumdog Millionaire. She's popular right now, and so clearly, she's bound to be the next Bond girl. Right, Gordon?
SLUMDOG Millionaire beauty FREIDA PINTO could become the new Bond girl — after being invited to a screen test for the next spy adventure.
See? It's easy.
Gordon seems to get a little bit confused between 'actors' and 'characters' in his excitement:
Freida could follow in the footsteps of Bond babes such as Plenty O’Toole in 1971 classic Diamonds Are Forever.
But why mention Plenty O'Toole anyway? Could it be simply to try and make sense of the headline?
Diamonds Are Freida
How out-of-control would your tongue have to be before you could pronounce 'Freida' to sound a bit like 'Forever'?
I'm sure Gordon's got really strong reasons for believing his story, and hasn't just extrapolated a star based on the rumours that Danny Boyle is going to direct the next Bond movie.
Somewhat oddly, just reloading the Bizarre page, the 'story' has vanished from its top left position, being replaced with that tiresome Noel Gallagher environment story.