Pretend your name is Keith

The Observer is warning - and warning is the word - that there's a new version of Agadoo being prepared:

In accordance with a recent EU decision the Scottish Executive is putting in place a Protection Zone of a minimum of three kilometres radius and a Surveillance Zone of 10 kilometres.

Keepers of birds in the protection zone are being instructed to isolate their birds from wild birds, by taking them indoors where ever possible.

Measures to restrict the movement of poultry, eggs and poultry products from these zones will be brought into effect immediately.

Oh... sorry, that's bird flu, isn't it? It's easy to muddle the two, because the main risk is people picking something up overseas and then bringing it back on the plane before infecting the UK.

The Observer seems convinced that Agadoo is the worst song ever, although surely Superman was worse, wasn't it? A rush-released follow-up that managed to be even more lame-witted - "come on, spray that can", anyone?

It's not just a straight re-release, oh no. It's a whole new version, which picks up on the cutting edge of British culture:

The new mix has now been recorded, and a video shot at Albir, on the Costa Blanca, featuring former Coronation Street actors Bruce Jones, who played Les Battersby, Kevin Kennedy, who was "Curly" Watts, and stars from the ITV series Benidorm.

Admittedly, the cutting edge of British culture from about a decade ago - could they not at least have put in a call to George Sampson? - but cutting edge nevertheless.

The plans then manage to straddle the worse/better boundary:

There are hopes, too, of a pumped-up version of Agadoo aimed at Ibiza, undoubtedly stripping the Spanish island of any last vestige of clubbing cool.

You know what? I could almost put up with a re-release if the payback was the DJs at Manumission being badgered into playing it twice a night, every night, for the entire season.

[Story plucked from Emalyse's Twitterfeed]