Gordon in the morning: Film 2009

What does Gordon Smart - or Someone Still Loves You Guy Ritchie, to give him his pen name - have this morning? Over-excited praise for Ritchie's new film:

It Sher looks good

Sherlock Holmes, you see. Sher looks.

So, has Gordon had a sneak peak of the film? Got a glimpse of the rushes? Been to the set?

Not quite.

GUY RITCHIE’s new Sherlock Holmes movie looks better and better every time snaps of it cross my path.

Oh. You've seen a handful of stills. Hey, it might look a bit slavish to lavish praise on a film based on a couple of artfully posed shots, but it's not like Gordon's staking his reputation having only seen the storyboards, is it?

Guy told me last year he was going back to the detective’s dark roots.

Did you know Sherlock was a bare-knuckle fighter with a taste for dodgy substances in the original tales?

Seriously? You're asking us that seriously, Gordon?

What's coming tomorrow, Gordon: "you might not know, but in the original story Hamlet was actually a member of a royal family?" "It's a little-known fact, but if you check the first books, Poirot wasn't French at all; he was Belgian"?

But let's not assume that Gordon is out of his comfort zone here; he's also got another film story this morning as he cooks up a falling out between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson on the set of Iron Man 2:

While Scarlett has been donning sexy catsuits and carrying guns for the scenes shot so far, Gwyneth has mainly had to settle for prim business suits.

But she has been assured she will get her moment to come out all guns blazing in the flick’s action-packed finale.

She's "been assured" of that. Because, presumably, she was quite unable to read the end of the script in which she'd be doing that, then?