In a piece that's dimwitted even by the low bar set for the modern Daily Mirror, the 3AM Girls enjoy a quick giggle about a victim of domestic violence meeting her abuser:
Know that awful moment when you realise you're trapped in the same place as your ex for a few hours? Rihanna certainly does by the Disturbia look on her face.
The look on her face? You mean the face that Brown punched and punched, do you?
Oh, yes, that's one of those awful moments like turning up in the same dress as someone else is wearing, isn't it? Did Rihanna see the funny side?
Rihanna, 21, looked anxious and was seen whispering to a pal.
Still, don't let that stop you turning it into a frothy piece for your gossip column, eh?