Gordon in the morning: Trolleyed

I've tried to work it out, but can't really see why a photo of Cheryl Cole wearing a summer dress at an airport has earned this headline:

Cheryl's a trolley dolly

Okay, it's a babydoll dress, and... she's at an airport where you might have to put your suitcase on a trolley? Is she meant to look like an air steward? If you look closely at the picture, does she have tiny, tiny wheels she's moving about on?

Gordon adds a note or two:

Hubby ASHLEY arrives later in the week for a pre-season tour with Chelsea.

Seeing this picture of his wife looking so hot so many miles away is not going to make the wait go any quicker for the footballing fella.

But isn't Ashley a foul, should-be-dumped, playing-away beast, Gordon? All of a sudden he's sat in a hotel room, wailing over a photo of his wife rolling about on a tiny foot-installed trolley?

Gordon's also got the new Lily Allen promo video:

LILY ALLEN looks typically sloshed in the new video for her single 22.

Peering into a nightclub mirror with her make-up smeared and hair ruffled, the singer looks like she's enjoyed one of her now-trademark booze benders.

This, apparently, is something worth seeing. Despite Gordon's review of her T in The Park set which, erm, stifled a yawn at seeing Allen apparently having enjoyed one of her trademark booze benders.