Gordon in the morning: Women have nipples

There's no danger that this morning's Bizarre stories have been achieved through illegal phone tapping. Indeed, there's precious little sign of any sort of intelligence at work.

Look! You can make out the shape of Britney Spears' nipple under a shirt

Look! You can kind of see the side of Emma Watson's breast

Look! Lady GaGa has her photo taken in an "outrageous" outfit.

The big story this morning is, erm, that Sarah Harding went on holiday and had fun.

Perhaps Rebekah Wade was busily escorting everyone into the Panic Room and the pages had to write themselves today?