Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Young Jeezy desperate to see dog-slaughterer playing ball

You can forgive Young Jeezy a little, as it's clear he's never quite had a fully-formed thought complete a journey all the way along a synapse - but is he really so keen to see animal-torturing git Michael Vick back as if nothing happened?

"That's my dude.I just talked to Michael Vick. Welcome back. I'mma just be real. I'm not saying this to be funny. I know 'em all, from Pacman Jones to Michael Vick. Sometimes keeping it real becomes keeping it dumb. It's hard enough in that position that they in. You can't keep a good dude down. He bounced back. We gonna wish him the best and tell him to stay out the strip club unless you're rolling with me."

Is Jeezy really suggesting that it's somehow the pressure of "keeping it real" that led Vick to spend six years torturing animals for money?

Perhaps sensing that splashing about in the blood of dead dogs might be a bad look, Jeezy attempts a soft backpedal:
"But you know what, I got dogs, so I feel the pet owners,"

Perhaps Jeezy is hoping that by implying he assumes that Vick's crimes were on a par with leaving a dog in a hot car on a warm day for a few minutes, the world won't conclude that he's got the empathic powers of a sun-baked rock.

If that was the plan, he then blows it by trying to suggest that making dogs fight for money, and slaughtering those that fail, is something to do with background:
"But sometimes we as a people, we come up harsh and rugged and we get excitement out of things like that, and it might not be the right thing. I don't think it was worth him losing everything he had and not being able to take care of his people around him. He was punished. He went to jail. A lot of cats don't even go to jail. But he went to jail, did his time, he's home. He paid his debt to society. Give him a football and some Gatorade, and let's get it."

A lot of cats don't go to jail. Nor do a lot of dogs, although a lot of dogs do end up dead under Michael Vick's patio.

Let's not give him a football, eh? Let's make him try and do something that can give some value to the world instead of showering him with money and pretending that he didn't kill a lot of dogs.

Luckily, it seems the people who run NFL football teams have higher standards than Jeezy, and nobody is rushing to pick up the contract for the dog-murdering Vick.

Or we could just make Vick and Jeezy play football together. In a large field of hungry, angry dogs.

1 comment:

Olive said...

I've always been puzzled by the expression 'keeping it real'. It seems to mean 'obeying a set of rules that bear no relation to the way that any sane human would act'. If anyone has a better definition, please clue us in...

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