How are the attempts to get people to head off to the newsagent to buy a proper, paper product going over at Bizarre? Today they make a good effort, only it's FHM they're promoting.
Or rather not promoting, as they run a couple of shots from the hugely uncomfortable Pixie Lott photoshoot from this month's magazine, which couldn't look any more awkward and intrusive if the pictures had got into the paper after someone stole her boyfriend's cameraphone.
Marcus Barnes takes responsibility for turning "here are some pictures that are in a different company's magazine" into the sort of showbiz coverage that the Murdochs think they can charge for:
The chart-topping blonde, 18, shows off her perfect pins while posing in tiny shorts and a skimpy top in a long-awaited spread for lads' mag FHM.
Ah, yes. There's the value added - they've not just printed FHM's pictures, Marcus has described them as well. They have colleges which teach this sort of thing.
There's also one of the most horrible usability fudges I've seen on a professional website for a while:
For a chance to win an exclusive chance to accompany the sexy Mama Do singer all the way to Germany for her European album launch party - click on the top Related Story to the right of this article.
... and then say "Pixielott" three times, backwards. Perhaps the idea is that finding the link is the competition, like a clunky HTML version of Masquerade. Or maybe nobody left at The Sun knows how to make a link without their CMS doing it for them.
Gordon, meanwhile, is left to concentrate on the big story: George Sampson being evicted after playing show tunes too loud, too often.
Still, it shouldn't worry a high-roller like George, right? He's got options.
While his mum Lesley searches for a house for them, she and George are holed up in an Ibis hotel in town.
Oh. Oh, dear.