Gordon in the morning: Oh, look, it's women kissing

Someone - Gordon says "a movie website" but it sounds more like two blokes who don't get out much down the pub - has come up with a list of "top lesbian kisses". Obviously not actual lesbians actually kissing, but people pretending to be lesbians pretending to kiss.

Buffy top girlie kiss

Since Buffy doesn't actually develop an interest in women until season eight, a comic book embrace coming at the top of the poll might seem a little surprising. But it turns out Gordon doesn't mean Buffy - as usual, he's confusing the actor and the character:

BUFFY star SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR's snog with SELMA BLAIR has been voted the hottest ever lesbian kiss on film.

And that would be bisexuals kissing, if you wanted to get technical.

Never mind, because the whole article is really building up to the photo caption:

Lez be friends ... Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions

Lez be friends? Does Gordon realise that's one of the phrases which Alan Partridge throws at his lady lesbian guests in Knowing Me, Knowing You, as a demonstration of how cruel and ignorant he is?

Oh... and you remember Gordon tutting at people who take their clothes off in order to buttress their fame? Apparently it's not bad when Victoria Beckham does it for a pants advert, either