I don't think Gordon is even bothering to phone it in these days. Bizarre looks like it's been compiled by a semi-intelligent algorithm this morning.
No, no: Let's not do the joke about how that'd be 50% more intelligence than usual. That would be mean.
So, there's a chunk of JLS, despite them actually not having done anything to justify a story.
Instead of the usual Calvin Kleins, the JLS star is more likely to be sporting a pair of bright yellow Spongebob Squarepants or Superman undercrackers. The boyband picked up the comedy keks on a shopping spree in men's fashion shop Topman on Wednesday.
Yes - "game show losers buy amusing underwear".
Then, of course, there's a picture of a woman from a magazine and an inevitable Robbie Williams story, which is also the inevitable X Factor story:
Rob revealed: "There's this one guy on the X Factor who is amazing. I think he could take my place.
"I've got my eye on him. He's dead."
Apparently something called Olly Murs is the guy who could take Robbie's place - and, yes, from what I've seen he does come across as the sort of gurning pain in the arse who combines the sort of mix of slight talent and annoying personality that could certainly see people getting confused.