Gordon In The Morning: ITV attempt to cross-breed franchises

Talking of the I'm A Celebrity juggernaut, surely the luckiest recipient of a slot on that programme must be Peter Andre? Before, he was a failed pop star with nothing of value to offer the world; ever since, he's been able to charge for being a failed pop star with nothing of value to offer the world.

According to Gordon this morning, he's dating Alexandra Burke. Or, as they're saying in the ITV press office, attempting to pull down synergy between The X Factor and The ITV2 Reality Circus.

Gordon insists Andre is "smitten". Although if he's been wandering about in a daydream with a silly simper on his face, it's hard to see how you could tell the difference from his normal demeanour.

Andre is plannning to cook for Burke:

Pete told a friend: "I think she's really cool. She's seriously hot and once I've cooked for her, she won't be able to resist."

Let's hope Pete's comfort with something being cool and hot simultaneously doesn't influence the way he cooks the fish fingers, then.

If you're in any doubt at all that this is just a publicity-churning piece of cynicism, wait until you get to the end:

The pair have even discussed recording a track together.

A pal of Pete's told The Sun: "Alex was the one who broke the ice first. She was really complimentary about Pete's album."

How? How can anyone seriously be complimentary about Pete's album? "The download time didn't look as if it'd be too heavy"? "They haven't chosen a picture of you and Jordan for the sleeve, which is classy"? "