Gordon in the morning: Men's shirt, short skirt

Is it too early for some crossdressing news?

LILY ALLEN has been appearing on stage in a variety of skimpy costumes for the last year.

But she looked as if she'd raided boyfriend SAM COOPER's wardrobe before this gig at the O2 in Dublin on Tuesday.

Yes, Gordon reports this morning that Lily Allen is "all boy-ed up".

By which he means she's wearing a waistcoat (surely unisex since about 1923) and a hat.

Still, at least he didn't get Rhodri Philips to write up the outfit - Rod got a photo of Cheryl Cole wearing something vaguely Chinese-inspired and immediately knew what he had to say:

CHERYL Cole is full of Eastern promise in an Oriental-style outfit for her TV special.

Full of Eastern Promise? Let's hope there's no dark catsuits elsewhere, otherwise we're going to get a "who knows the secret of the black magic box" before the end of the week.

I'm trying to decide what news fills me most full of dread and loathing: JLS going back into the studio or plans for a Jackson 4 tour. One is more than one more than required; the other one less than needed.