Monday, January 18, 2010

Shakira: Selflessly shopping to save your ass

Shakira - spokesperson for footwear firms and sometime singer - is out at the shops. But she's doing it for you, you ungrateful wretches:

"I do like to enjoy things any normal girl my age enjoys: I jog in the park, watch really bad movies. I used to feel guilty - I am a Catholic girl after all - but today, the way I see it, shopping keeps the world rolling. A world where people don't consume? The economy gets worse."

"I have no choice but to buy small coats for my dogs. Imagine if my dogs didn't have coats - there would be no dog-coat-manufacturing industry at all. Do you really think I want the families of dog-coat-manufacturers out of work? Could you live with that on your conscience? Now, I have to go in order to perform good works for the manufacturers of lobster bibs and champagne flutes. Ah, curse my conscience."