Akon flees the capital

Did you realise dry-humping accident magnet Akon was working for Capital Radio? No, I didn't either. I'd somehow missed his glorious arrival:

The multiplatinum-selling and Grammy nominated singer joined Capital earlier this month, with the station's group programme director, Paul Jackson, promising "London is going to love him!".

And now it's too late, after turning in just 120 minutes' work, he's quit. Apparently there was a scheduling conflict:

"Due to Akon's commitments, including working on a brand new album, we won't be broadcasting a regular show on 95.8 Capital FM for the time being," added the spokesman. "Our conversations about future shows are ongoing as we explore other opportunities that may work for both of us."

"Oh... hang on a moment, I've just remembered I got some other stuff to do on Sundays... that's when I rinse out my socks and make a packed lunch to take to work. Sheesh, sorry, guys. And I'd somehow completely forgotten all my other commitments when I signed up. I guess I ought to buy a diary or something."

Yes, that's plausible. Nothing at all odd about that. No.