Gordon in the morning: Unfinished monkey business

Gorillaz are planning to do another live appearance. Or maybe not, if you read Gordon's column:

CANER SHAUN RYDER could derail the live comeback plans of GORILLAZ.

He could detail them, could he? How? Might he claim to own a patent on drawings playing guitars? Is he threatening to run amok with one of those Ink Killer pens that wipes out drawings? Has he simply eaten Simon's magic chalk so the pictures won't come alive?

The tubby rocker has been asked to rejoin DAMON ALBARN's gang at America's Coachella festival in April.

The animated outfit play their first concert in four years at the Californian bash on April 16, but the former HAPPY MONDAYS singer said: "The cheeky b******* want to fly me coach class over to the States then do a show directly. C'mon stingy. Cheeky b*******."

"Tubby rocker", Gordon? Really?

So, it turns out 'guest for one song moaning about having to travel like he was no better than Nicholas Winterton' is enough to derail a live performance. Let's hope Damon Albarn doesn't get a papercut, or that'll be it.