NME Awards 2010: Next year, sponsored by Kleenex

Let's try this post again with some actual words in it, shall we?

The NME Awards happened out of their box last night, and in a surprise, The Stone Roses won every category.

Alright, nothing that interesting happened. Although, tucked inside the play-it-safe, alt-by-template prizes to Paramore and Muse and Arctic Monkeys and - so help us God - Kasabian, there were a couple of signs of individual thought. Jamie T winning best solo artist (take that, Welch) and The Big Pink picking up track of the year are probably both decisions which would justify the NME claiming to be a voice outside the mainstream.

Pity about the rest of the winners:

Godlike Genius
Paul Weller

Outstanding Contribution To Music
The Specials

Best British Band (sponsored by Shockwaves)
Winner: Muse
Nominated: Arctic Monkeys, Biffy Clyro, Kasabian, Oasis

Best International Band (sponsored by 4music/T4)
Winner: Paramore
Nominated: Green Day, Kings Of Leon, Vampire Weekend, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best Solo Artist
Winner: Jamie T
Nominated: Dizzee Rascal, Florence And The Machine, Julian Casablancas, Lady Gaga

Best New Band (sponsored by USC)
Winner: Bombay Bicycle Club
Nominated: The Big Pink, Mumford & Sons, The xx, La Roux

Best Live Band (sponsored by Tuborg)
Winner: Arctic Monkeys
Nominated: Kasabian, Muse, Radiohead, Them Crooked Vultures

Best Album (sponsored by HMV)
Winner: Kasabian – 'West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum'
Nominated: Arctic Monkeys – 'Humbug', Muse – 'The Resistance', The Cribs – 'Ignore The Ignorant', The Horrors – 'Primary Colours'

Best Track (sponsored by NME Radio)
Winner: The Big Pink – 'Dominos'
Nominated: Animal Collective – 'My Girls', Arctic Monkeys – 'Crying Lightning', Florence And The Machine – 'Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)', Jamie T – 'Sticks N' Stones'

Best Video (sponsored by NME TV)
Winner: Biffy Clyro – 'The Captain'
Nominated: Arctic Monkeys – 'Cornerstone ', Kasabian – 'Fire', The Maccabees – 'Can You Give It', Oasis – 'Falling Down'

Best Live Event
Winner: Blur at Hyde Park
Nominated: Jay-Z at Alexandra Palace, Muse at Teignmouth, Oasis at Heaton Park, The Dead Weather at Shoreditch Church

Best Festival
Winner: Glastonbury
Nominated: Download, Reading And Leeds Festivals, T In The Park, V Festival

Best Dancefloor Filler
Winner: La Roux – 'In For The Kill' (Skream Remix)
Nominated: Dizzee Rascal And Armand Van Helden – 'Bonkers', Florence And The Machine – 'You've Got The Love', Lady Gaga – 'Poker Face', Yeah Yeah Yeahs – 'Zero'

Best TV Show
Winner: The Inbetweeners
Nominated: Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Peep Show, Skins, True Blood

Best Film
Winner: Inglourious Basterds
Nominated: (500) Days Of Summer, In The Loop, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Where The Wild Things Are

Best DVD
Winner: The Mighty Boosh – Future Sailors
Nominated: Kings Of Leon – Live At The The O2 Arena, Flight Of The Conchords – Complete HBO Second Season, The Killers – Live From The Royal Albert Hall, Nirvana – Live At Reading

Giving It Back Fan Award
Winner: Lily Allen for her Twitter ticket treasure hunt
Nominated: Kasabian and Noel Fielding for free 'Vlad The Impaler' video, Danger Mouse for leaking 'Dark Night Of The Soul', Arctic Monkeys for their Oxfam golden tickets, Vampire Weekend for giving away 'Horchata' from the album 'Contra'

Hero Of The Year
Winner: Rage Against The Machine
Nominated: Beyoncé Knowles, Noel Gallagher, Matt Bellamy, Alex Turner

Villain Of The Year
Winner: Kanye West
Nominated: Noel Gallagher, Liam Gallagher, Simon Cowell, Lady Gaga

Best Dressed
Winner: Lady Gaga
Nominated: Liam Gallagher, Noel Fielding, Florence Welch, Karen O

Worst Dressed
Winner: Lady Gaga
Nominated: Matt Bellamy, Katy Perry, Liam Gallagher, Elly Jackson (La Roux)

Worst Album
Winner: The Jonas Brothers – 'Lines Vines Trying Times'
Nominated: Green Day – '21st Century Breakdown', Lady Gaga – 'The Fame', U2 – 'No Line On The Horizon', Arctic Monkeys – 'Humbug'

Worst Band
Winner: Jonas Brothers
Nominated: Green Day, Oasis, Paramore

Hottest Man
Winner: Matt Bellamy (Muse)

Hottest Woman
Winner: Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

Best Website (excluding NME.COM)
Winner: Muse.mu
Nominated: YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Greenday.com

Best Album Artwork
Winner: Kasabian – 'West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum'
Nominated: Muse – 'The Resistance', Green Day – '21st Century Breakdown', The Cribs – 'Ignore The Ignorant', Manic Street Preachers – 'Journal For Plague Lovers '

Best Band Blog
Winner: Radiohead (Radiohead.com/deadairspace)
Nominated: Muse (Muse.mu and Twitter.com/muse), Noel Gallagher (Oasisinet.com), Los Campesinos! (Loscampesinos.com), Paramore (Paramore.net)

The real worry is that the more these awards suggest NME readers love Kasabian, the more the NME will write about them, and the more they're lose readers who actually like music, leaving an even higher proportion of Kasabian fans for next year and... oh, it doesn't bear thinking about.