Oh, sure, there's a non-story about JLS in Gordon's column this morning:
JLS didn't know where to look when presented with LILY ALLEN's gongs at the Brit Awards.
ASTON, MARVIN, JB and ORITSÉ met the Smile singer backstage at the ceremony and couldn't take their eyes off her 'pert' assets.
Now, you might have thought this really creepy story about peering at Lily Allen's tits would have been right up Gordon's street.
And yet how did he hear about it?
Marvin told new! magazine: "Lily Allen showed us her boobs.
"She had a top on but it was see-through and made out of net. Her boobs were so pert."
Marvin, man - Gordon's struggling to come up with a story a day about your "band" and yet you give a Sun-friendly titbit about behaving like a bunch of perverts to a different magazine? What else is Gordon going to have to find out when he pops to the corner shops? Will you be telling Grazia about stealing Duffy's stockings?