Not everyone at The Sun offices are busy hiding pro-Liberal Democrat poll results or clomping around London like they're The Mitchell brothers. It's business as normal over at Bizarre:
TWILIGHT star ROBERT PATTINSON is tormented about whether acting is really for him.
Well, chicken, why don't try doing some acting some time to find out?
Meanwhile, Gordon's been out to see Paul Weller and Noel Gallagher playing together - or Two Grumps, One Amp. Naturally, Gordon loved it - if Serge had been there, it would have been like a dream he once had - and reports back how thrilling it all was:
Then OASIS axe man Noel pitched up and the pair performed the Gallagher-penned Mucky Fingers as well as Weller's own Echoes Round The Sun.
What would the negotiations backstage have been like to arrive at that choice of songs?
-Should I do one off of the albums people liked, Paul?
-No. This is about me. You'll have to do one of the flabby late-period tracks
-But there's so many to choose from...
-How about that one with the ridiculous Stones rip-off name?
-I've never recorded Demerara Sugar
-No, no, the other one...