Gordon in the morning: When friends fall out

Oh no, it must be Gordon's nightmare:

THE battle lines have been drawn between JLS and N-DUBZ.

The rival bands are competing for the same roles in a major new BBC drama.

Really? Who knew the BBC were working on a docudrama about the Outhere Brothers. That's surely it, isn't it?

Gordon always knew this day would come:

I was wondering when they would clash.

It was only a matter of time. It might have been Celebrity Gladiators. It could have been Come Dine With Me. But instead: it's here. On the streets of a major BBC drama.

What drama, actually?

The drama follows the lives of kids living on the fictional Rockindale and Brookdale housing estates in Hackney, east London.

Sounds a bit like a southern version of The Street to me.

In the sense that it will have people pretending to be other people saying words that have been written down, yes, Gordon, it sounds exactly the same.

Brookdale, eh? Rodney Bennett, where do they come up with these names.

It turns out the role that JLS and N-Dubz are scrapping for is only a cameo in one episode. Who is in the lead, I wonder. Does Gordon have an insider who can give us a hint?

N-Dubz have got the edge now. They are more gritty and more street.

I suppose so, yes. In the same way that out of Sooty and Sweep or Pinky and Perky, one of those pairs is going to be slightly more convincingly like the animal they're based on.