Gordon in the morning: Sex And The City was a newspaper column once

To be fair, it's not Gordon's handiwork, but it's leading Bizarre this morning: Coverage of the Sex And The City 2 premiere. The headline?

Sex 'n the totty

Totty? Are you serious? Are we only minutes away from 'bint' turning up in headlines?

Gordon, meanwhile, is suffering from a shock:

KASABIAN'S SERGE PIZZORNO has followed in the footsteps of bandmate TOM MEIGHAN and chopped off his locks.

The crop-topped guitarist showed off his new style at last night's Black Ball, thrown by ALICIA KEYS, to raise funds for her HIV children's charity.

The new hairdo is a shock, but I'm sure we'll get used to it.

What a pity the SATC premiere clashed with the 'man gets haircut' - a busy news day indeed.

Serge and the lads did a cracking set with Alicia after a fancy beef dinner.

"A fancy beef dinner"? What? "Oooh, look, horseradish sauce."