It must be great for the 3AM Girls having an early-evening world premiere on their patch - no need to hold the mighty Daily Mirror presses; they can just slip the red carpet gossip into the paper before the sun sets.
It was the glitteringiest showbiz occasion ever, ever seen in London, as the feature-length movie Sex And The City Ride Again premiered in London's busy Central London. In the movie, the famous characters from the programme - the one with the horse face and perfume range; the one from the tea advert; the other one; Eva Longoria and US hard rock band Mr Big - are all back together. We wouldn't normally do this sort of thing, but here's an exclusive promo clip:
You could almost feel sorry for Gordon this morning as he attempts to cover the premiere, which he does mostly with pictures. And by sending someone else to deal with the, uh, merchandising:
Now there's a Mr Big vibrator
By JONATHAN WEINBERG
Jonathan, bless him, goes to sex toy company LoveHoney, and knows exactly who to get a dildo quote from:
Head buyer Bonny Hall
There is, though, a pretty good story in Bizarre this morning, as Gordon has managed to get a response from Jay-Z to Noel's remarks:
“We don’t play guitars, Noel, but hip-hop has put in its work like any other form of music.”
He went on: “This headline show is just a natural progression. Rap music is still evolving.
"From AFRIKA BAMBAATAA DJ-ing in the Bronx and RUN DMC going platinum, to JAZZY JEFF AND THE FRESH PRINCE winning the first rap Grammy, I’m just next in the line.
“We have to respect each other’s genre of music and move forward.”
It's true, we checked: there were absolutely no rap records made between Jazzy Jeff's Summertime and Jay-Z's debut. None whatsoever.
By the way, you're not meant to answer the 'what happens at the end of the Sex And The City movie', but between you and me: it ends with a Hollywood producer barking into a phone: "LeBlanc's in, Schwimmer'll do it for a director's credit, Cox is in and if Kudrow won't play ball, we could get the woman who played her twin to do it..."
Geri Halliwell is excited by the forthcoming Sex And The City movie. Because, you know, it could be about here:
"I LOVE Carrie. I'm really like her in the way I analyse, and I have the hair and the prom dresses."
Having hair really does make you exactly alike her. Brian Blessed has hair, too, and we think you're quite like him, too.
Although there is much to make of this self-aggrandising honking, the Sunday Mirror's Showbiz with Zoe columnist Zoe Zoe Showbiz fumbles her putdown:
Earth to Geri - Carrie is a fictional character, love.
Except, of course, Sex In The City is a roman a clef and Bradshaw is, effectively, Candace Bushnell, who is all-too-real; and even if Carrie had been totally imagined up out of thin air, why would that make it impossible for Geri to be like her? If someone said "my boyfriend's a bit like Marcus from Coronation Street", presumably Zoe wouldn't start pulling faces and going "you idiot! Marcus is a construct of scriptwriters. How could someone be 'like' him?"
Sarah Jessica Parker, off that programme a few years back, has tried to promote her new horse couture - sorry, haute couture, I don't know why Sarah Jessica Parker always makes us think of horses - by complaining about how much you have to pony up for Gwen Stefani's clothing range:
[T]he actress calls Stefani's designs "much more avant-garde" than her own, adding, "I don't want to do that for women, because that's not their lives." She also doesn't approve of the high cost of L.A.M.B. fashions. She says of her Bitten items, "You're going to be able to buy $200 worth of clothes, leave that store with six bags and be able to pay your utilities and take your kids some place special for their birthday."
Or, of course, you could go to a shop that hasn't employed someone to slap their fadingly-famous name on the label, buy $100 worth of clothes, leave the store with one bag being used for all the clothes, pay your utilities, eat well for a month and still take the kids to the zoo. And not look like you're a half-wit who needs to be told by the woman out of Kate-And-Allie-With-Dildos what to wear.
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