Gordon in the morning: Uncle festering

While the Liberals and Labour and the Tories are busy having meetings, other great minds are coming together:

FORGET live gigs - MARVIN HUMES has the scariest moment of his life fast approaching.

The JLS star is steeling himself to meet ROCHELLE WISEMAN's uncle - former Manchester United hardman PAUL INCE.

Oh yes. Impressing your girlfriend's uncle is the most important thing you ever do. (Thank God the Uncle was fairly famous, otherwise Who Do You Think You Are researchers would have been deployed to find someone, anyone, who Sun readers might have heard of, to power-up the pedal-power couple.)

Also, I know you'll have been worrying about this:

[Chanelle Hayes] insisted that she won't sleep with her new fella Jack Tweed until after the baby is born, out of respect for her ex Matthew Bates - the father of her unborn child who she split from last year.

Now we can all breathe again.