Saturday, June 05, 2010

Format madness: The Music Tee

Exciting news arrives from the people who look after Daisy Dares You:

Daisy Dares You is set to launch a brand new product in the UK

A brand new product? Could it be, at long last, the mayonnaise-filled sausage has become a reality?
Daisy Dares You is set to launch a brand new product in the UK - The Music Tee - next week at Selfridges.

The Music Tee? I'm trying to imagine what this could be - after all, as it's a new product, it won't just be a band t-shirt, will it?
Originally sold in the US, it's a new platform where artists can release a t-shirt styled with their album artwork and their album at the same time.

So it's a t-shirt and CD pack. That's not really a new product, is it? And it certainly isn't a platform.

In fact, you used to quite often get t-shirts free with records, until the BPI changed the rules after World In Action reported people coming in, buying a Rod Stewart record, taking the t-shirt and leaving the disc on the counter. So there's quite a long history of rubbish records having their sales inflated by being packaged with a t-shirt.
Artists who have launched their album in this way include Mos Def, Amanda Blank & The Plasticines.

T-shirts with band names on. What will they think of next?

This is just the warm-up, though, as there's a full press release, too:
Coveted by US music fans and fashionistas alike, The Music Tee is set to cause a frenzy with its much anticipated UK launch on June 9th 2010.

I suspect neither claim there is true.
It offers music in a new format, while simultaneously emphasizing “album art” as an emotionally compelling part of the experience.

You know, caught up in the guff here is the germ of a well-meaning idea: digital times have reduced record label art to a poky little offering, and finding a way to celebrate the artwork is a good thing. If it wasn't being oversold like this, you might even take them seriously.

Although, as everyone knows, band t-shirts stop being emotionally compelling parts of experiences after about the fourth wash, when they start a downward spiral through 'gardening wear', 'something you give your boyfriend when he stops over to wear in bed', 'handy thing to wipe up whatever that it is all over the work surface' to 'stuffing for repaired teddy bear'.
Uniting the worlds of music and fashion, The Music Tee updates your wardrobe and iPod collection at the same time and with festival season just round the corner is on track to be a big Summer season must-have.

Yes, who would dare go to Glastonbury without a tshirt that you need to carry the CD with you to make sense of what you're wearing.
“The Music Tee has been a phenomenal success in the US by giving artists a new platform to distribute their music. We continue to sign new major labels and content providers each day. For the UK launch we wanted to introduce fresh artists and will be kicking off with The Daisy Dares You Music Tee arriving in June. We are excited about engaging music and fashion fans in the UK while continuing to grow our collection of compelling artists.” comments Jeremy Wineberg, President of The Music Tee.

Still, you can't complain too much - what are we talking about? Fifteen quid to get a tshirt and a record, right? Maybe twenty?
The Daisy Dares You Music Tee will go on sale June 9th at Selfridges and online at www.themusictee.com. Selfridges will also be stocking The Music Tees for The Plastiscines, Devendra Banhart, Monsters of Folk, Perez Hilton and Sliimy. Prices from £55.

FIFTY FIVE QUID? For a tshirt and a record you could get off the torrents for nothing?
From fifty five quid?

This blog post is also available as a pair of socks to allow you to experience the emotional intensity of reading with your toes. Forty pounds to you.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If this increased the sales figures of records then I reckon the management of Motorhead and the Ramones must be behind this.

Olive said...

I think the mayonaise filled sausage is a depressing reality, available next to the Ginsters pasties and week old sushi in your local petrol station.

James said...

If the mayonaise sausage ever does become a reality, surely that'd be the ideal time to ressurect the early-1990s phenomenom that was Ketchips? Imagine a big plate of chunky oven chips filled with ketchup, alongside a couple of mayonaise sausages. I can see the advert now; A ketchup bottle and mayonaise jar nervously discussing the arrival of these new products that'll put them out of work. Naturally the mayonaise would have a borderline-xenophobic accent.

Mustard beefburgers. There's a good one.

No, hang on, roast potatoes with gravy in. That's better. If they can overcome the sudden-jets-of-scalding-liquid issue.

simon h b said...

If you filled a chip with ketchup, wouldn't the sauce be at a potentially lethal temperature?

James said...

Now you mention it, that might be why they're not around any more :(

Another good one was McCain's Pizza-Rola, a bread roll filled with 'cheese' and 'ham'. It went in the oven for 15-20 minutes, turning the filling into a molten fireball of pretend-mozzarella and reclaimed hoof. The advert showed cool teens enthusiastically biting into the product, but cleverly omitted the follow-up projectile-cheese-based carnage and blindness.

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