Did you know that Katie Price - or ITV2, as she's known professionally - has got a single out? Of course you didn't, because if you did you'd have been hiding under the bed until it all went away.
It looks like 'under the bed' might be quite busy, come to that, as the whole world seems to be hiding from the single. It's going to be lucky to scrape the Top 50.
Earlier this week, she told the Press Association: "If it does well, that would be brilliant, but as long as people like it."
Let's hope she had a plan C as well. "Failing that, just so long as I'm not summoned to The Hague to explain what I've wrought" - something like that.
Who can explain how Katie Price is supposedly so popular, but her records are not selling?
Why, this job could be perfect for HMV's Glamour Factmodel, Gennaro Castaldo:
Gennaro Castaldo of music retailer HMV said: "Katie Price is obviously a hugely successful celebrity who knows how to engage with her fans, particularly when it comes to her books, DVDs and other merchandise, but some people seem to be drawing a line when it comes to her singing."
Castaldo seems puzzled that people aren't buying the record when they buy all the other tosh; surely his puzzlement should be that she manages to sell anything at all.
Perhaps she should have got someone else to do the singing for her, the way she has someone else write the books for her.