Gordon in the morning: A half-cooked takeaway

We're firmly back in the era when anything Take That does is treated like it's part of the run-up to the That/Gurner redocking. Even when they've not really done anything, like Jason Orange's 40th birthday party.

Guy Patrick is dispatched from Team Gordon to cover the celebrations, which were fitting for a man entering middle-age. Actually, they were fitting for a man about to enter sheltered accommodation, but Patrick does his best:

Bandmate HOWARD DONALD, 42, arrived at around 6pm carrying a spare set of clothes - and the rest of the lads were due to arrive later.

Man staying overnight in hotel turns up with suitcase. Possibility of the ones that people care about turning up later on.

Last night a source close to the star said: "Jason and Justin are up for a mad one.

"Everybody's wondering whether there will be 40 or 80 candles!"

Why would there be 80 candles? Am I missing something? Does Orange age twice as fast as ordinary people? Has he been lying about his age? Or is the idea of twice-as-many-candles just an indication of how KER-AZZZY things might get?

One odd thing, though - Patrick clearly is writing before much has happened - Barlow and Owen haven't turned up, the food is going to be this and that, people are up for it being 'mad'. And yet:

Even No Regrets by ROBBIE WILLIAMS was played - in a tribute to the singer who is rejoining the band for a tour and new album.

That's written in the past tense. Curious.