Gordon in the morning: Morrisey says no

It's not often Gordon Smart brings news of Morrisey to his readers, but today there's news of the man:

But RUSSELL BRAND and KATY PERRY have asked the miserable Manc to do the honours - even though he's told them not to tie the knot.

He was meeting Katy Perry for the first time. Mozzer went to tea with her, which is hardly on-brand for him, with his disdain for fluff pop, but he's mates with Russell Brand, apparently:

"He's Russell's mate and he is fascinating but he was giving us a hard time about getting married.

"He swooned and sighed, 'Oh, left hand third finger, don't do it.' It was just so eloquent and poetic and like one of his songs."

Clearly, Perry doesn't meet literate people very often.

However, eloquent though the advice was, it will go unheeded. And Morrisey will still be invited, but must consider himself warned:

I told him, 'We can't have a Mr Misery like you messing things up.'

Childish, treating the listener like they have no cortex and embarrassingly clunky. Just like one of her songs.